LifeZamaZing

YES

i know i am missing and you could even assume i am absconding

but actually it is nothing like it. I am simply making the best of the phase i am going through.

you see you don’t get these precious months of pampering very often!

Well, I am pregnant…

rather i am the end of my lovely, fulfilling and HAPPY pregnancy.

The doc has given the 9th July as my due date and i am simply taking it lightly.  So all these months when i could have blogged i did nothing because i had this unfailing reason saying “I am pregnant” and hence you really cannot have any other expectation out of me except to be happy!

Which by the way i am. The entire period of carrying the baby has been GREAT. For that matter i have not suffered from a single typical symptom of pregnancy like morning sickness or nausea or hunger pangs or any of it. It has been as good as ever.

Sooo i feel blessed and lucky and once again i m convinced that lifeZamaZing!!

Thanks prax and amit and all others who cared to visit me and ask me about my absence … u see i m enjoying my unearned break!!

Will update about the boy/girl status as soon as i can!

Yes. I am sure everyone does but it’s just that i realized it all over again yesterday. Well there is a social function coming up in the family and hence i was advised by my dear mother-in-law to get a few feminine itsy-bitsy things done. To be precise, in very sweet words she asked me to get myself to look more presentable than the usual spartan, austere look that i carry.

And hence like a good daughter-in-law (i am one, don’t grin!) i went to this next door lady who seems to be running a small-time beauty shop. The ambiance and all that is not worth mentioning but i had gone there for a facial and once she started massaging my face, i was ENJOYING it! The last time i had treated myself with such niceties was three years ago on my wedding. So had kind of forgotten how goooood it feels to have someone work on your body. She wasn’t great and neither was the treatment extra-ordinary or anything like the new up-market beauty salons but i was relishing each movement of her hand.

Ahaaa… felt soo nice.

And that is when I realized that facials or beauty treatments are not paid for exorbitantly by the ladies just for the heck of it’s outcome. But rather the process of going through it is sooooo pleasurable that women kind of love it. And in most families i know of i have seen men come home tired and exhausted and have their backs or foreheads massaged by either their wife or children but am yet to hear of families where the reverse is done. So, i believe women end up at these parlors to pamper their bodies. And just yesterday i found that i am no different. I too enjoy the pampering! Ohh! how i enjoyed it!! Looking forward to another more pleasurable encounter!

What about you? Don’t you like such pampering??

Today, me and Abhi (my husband) are to dine at a family friend of my parents-in-laws. Now they have been calling us over for some 3 years now (since we got married). And we have been putting it off for some three years now.

Nooo, there is no problem with them. They are absolutely fine people. But the problem is that they are calling JUST me and abhi- not my parents-in-law. Now those of you who are wondering that why is it a problem i just want you to know that abhi has a special mechanism of ‘Shutting Down’ or rather ‘Hibernating’ when in unsolicited company. Which implies that as soon as we reach their place abhi is going to utter all of  few 100 words like  “How are you uncle?” , “Yeah, business is fine.”, “Grandparents are fine.” and the likes. After these few niceties he will get into his shell and the host and hostess whom i have not met for more than a total of 10 minutes so far will be left staring at me while abhi will finely be watching any non-sense that might be there  on TV or fidgeting with his mobile.

I feel really sad for the host because they feel it is their duty to call us over for dinner but what they fail to understand is that there are NO conceivable topics of conversation between them and us. You see, I can’t possibly be telling them what i did today at work- like write this post :P, and if they want me to pay heed to why Smriti Irani’s comeback is a boon or bane to Kyunki… then i will have to imitate abhi!!

So, for those of you who have endured such moments of social torture please tell me how do i save myself?? I have a few ideas but i have tried them for three years now so gotta think of something else!

Ummm lets see- how about having a friend call up and tell me it’s an emergency and have me rescued??

I guess i am going nuts!!

ummmmmm, help me damn it!

YEAH, it’s holi time and you can already feel it in the air.

Suddenly there are advertisements about skin care lotions and safe herbal colors/gulal and hair oil and people in rin-ki-safedi-white clothes and then there are colors splashing all over them.

God! now it is the commercials that remind you of the festival’s coming than anything else. Well, but this year we had some different reminder as well. You see, holi is really famous in Rajasthan and it is as good as diwali for them. And since holi is coming we had a few unsolicited Rajasthani guests on Sunday morning. They came up early morning (well, it was 10 am but on a sunday that is early to me!) and started singing aloud with manjiras and a dhol-like instrument (which i am going to call dhol now onwards;))

It was a couple with their teenage daughter and one more companion. The daughter was so trained that she started dancing as soon as the dhol started playing. It was in perfect synchrony. And there was an odd indifference about the way she did it. She really did not care to feel the fact that she was in an alien place with people’s eyes zooming in on her. She had only one sense of knowledge- like Arjun’s vision of the bird’s eye- and that was the taal of the dhol. If the dhol plays she dances around in a typical fashion, if it stops she stops abruptly as if she weren’t dancing at all. And her dedicated indifference was most highlighted when i started taking pictures of her. Others in the troupe cared to look at me, she did not even grant me that pleasure.

But anyways, we were talking holi. And yes that is what they had come for- collecting money in the name of holi. You could call them beggars, nuisance, pain, alien or anything else but the fact is that i liked to be reminded of holi by them rather than the shampoo ads. Somehow they gave holi the touch it deserved! A touch of colors, a touch of LOUD and unclear music, a touch of incomprehensible lyrics, a touch of mitti, a touch of des and desipan, a touch of indianness!

Yes, indianness is what they brought about. Something that the fancy hair oil ads missed out.

[P.S.- Please excuse the pathetic lighting in the photos. I clicked them with a mobile phone and could not manage better lighting. These are the best out of 7-10 pics i clicked, so just make do with them ;)]

Well, Nita tagged me for a meme she was tagged for and hence here i am writing (thinking more than writing) in response to the Movie Quirks meme.

I am not much of a movie buff (i prefer books). But since Nita has made me put my thinking cap on i have come realize that there ARE a few quirks that i would like to share. So, here i go. I hope you enjoy them and please feel free to comment.

• I hate to land up in some Hindi movie which is good for nothing and has no story to tell. I can’t stand it and would always prefer to walk out than suffer through the three hours. (Diagonally opposite reaction as compared to Nita and Amit’s)

• And because this has happened to me more than once, now i usually do NOT go to a movie (especially hindi) until i have a review about it from some authentic source like, say Nita
• I like romantic comedies. And i like to flow with the movie. If it makes me cry- i cry; if it makes me laugh- i laugh and i laugh LOUD; and if it makes me feel like walking out- i walk out.
• i have never been to a theater for a movie all by myself and hence i think i would be really depressed if i were to ever go for a movie without some sensible company. As such i always have Abhi to fall back on so not a problem so far.

• I am a Gulzar fan. Though he hardly makes films any more but if there is a movie by him- i would not wait for a review. And he is only exception.
• I love to see the extra shots in the end that are there at times in certain movies. Like the ones where they show a few shots which were ruled out during editing (i think it is there in Liar Liar). U know where you get to see how many re-takes went in filming the shot that we never even paid attention to. For that matter i even liked the ending sequence of Om Shanti Om. It was cute
• I like RGV’s movies ;). I know i am asking for trouble by saying this but don’t judge him only by his Aag! I mean he has given some REAL nice movies (For example Sarkar, Satya, Rangeela, etc.). At least he has a different angle than the usual run-of-the-mill movie-makers.
• I hate mobile phones ringing in the theater and hate the people coolly chatting over the phone all the more. For that matter i even get annoyed with those who fiddle with their mobiles during the movie. You know the ones who keep playing games or sending SMSes. If they are behind me it doesn’t matter but somehow i always find one such person right in the next row. And every time his screen lights up in the dark it snatches my attention from to movie to see his stupid handset!
• And as most of us do, i too hate people passing comments constantly during the movie. It’s such a pain. And at times i have ended up confronting them asking them to keep their mouths shut.
• I love to see couples cooing and cuddling around during the movie. It’s like a breach of privacy i know but i enjoy doing it!

This is simply fascinating. Came across it when i was stumbling upon things and this really amazed me.

“On a cold Saturday in New York City, the world’s largest train station came to a sudden halt. Over 200 Improv Everywhere Agents froze in place at the exact same second for five minutes in the Main Concourse of Grand Central Station. Over 500,000 people rush through Grand Central every day, but today, things slowed down just a bit as commuters and tourists alike stopped to notice what was happening around them. Enjoy the video first and then go behind the scenes with our mission report and photos.”

(From http://improveverywhere.com)

You can check out the full article here.

YES!

That is what they are going to be.

Any reason that i put up here is going to be invalid, face-saving and pathetic. But I will still put them up

–> I am reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Reading it for the third time. And I find it sooooo engrossing that the first thing i do after work is get back to it. Though there are a few scenes in it which i know by heart now but still i find it toooooooo endearing to think of anything else.

–> Bcoz i am reading Atlas Shrugged all i think of are the characters of the novel. Hence i really find no valid topic to write on. Again a pathetic reason.

–> I have been busy with work and family (hahaha… i don’t believe i am writing this)

–> I have run out of topics. (Of course when you don’t think about it, it ought to happen)

–> Writing a blog is insensible. Well its the most sensible thing which requires the attention of your senses and hence I am unable to write

Well, let me be honest. The actual and the only reason is

I HAVE BECOME LAAZZZZZYYYYY

Yes. Now i am talking. No other godforsaken reason.

Ahaa… finally i have started being honest.

And hopefully this honesty shall translate into hard work. Please pray for me and in case you can find some other incentives for me to work on my blog please give them

Amen!!

I have been truly blessed in terms of health. Have never had a fever in the past decade, headaches are just not known to me and I can digest just about anything.

Given this not pink but PINK health I had started to believe that people overplay their sickness. Meaning when people complain that they have severe headache or their stomachs are not fine, I could never really empathize (forget sympathize) with them. But everything changed last week.

I was out shopping and the day was as usual as it can be. Had eaten a huge breakfast and light lunch. I was looking through various stuff at a shop and suddenly everything started getting hazy. First I thought it’s mental but then my body started getting loose and I could hardly keep straight. Asked for water, sat down on a chair and HAD to put my head down. For all those moments when my body was struggling to balance its metabolism my mind was racing against it and telling me

“Feel this, Feel this, this is how people feel when they are ill. Low sugar and low BP is not just a fake excuse. IT HAPPENS!!”

And when it all ceased within a few seconds I was a humbled human. I for once started to understand the plight of those who must be suffering from whatever it is that they suffer. And not to mention that I felt luckier than ever that I am not a victim of such health problems. I am just soooo happy for my pink health!

Thank you God for making me strong and humble!!

Reliance, Gujarat and business have an unbreakable-ambuja-cement bond. Come any news about Reliance and entire Gujarat is definitely up and listening. Whether the stock market gurus are or not but the harried looking lonely guy in Wankaner is definitely aware of it.

And when Reliance declares an IPO- well, it is mega hubbub for Gujarat. No soon is the slightest of news spread about it, the active stock marketers start adjusting their investments with the IPO as it’s focal point. And when the news is actually out, BINGO!!! there is a tangible vibrancy in the entire state. Almost everyone, yes everyone who has finance and has something to do with stocks (which everyone in Gujarat has!) is up and ears for it.

It starts with collecting money. All the money that had been lent out or given on interest or otherwise is suddenly called for in extreme emergency. Philanthropy definitely takes a backseat for a few days and the common dialogue is - ” bhai mare nathi chale evu. reliance no IPO aayo che mane paisa moklay!” (”Bhai, it is dire emergency, I HAVE TO apply for the Reliance IPO, please pay up.”).

Then comes the udhaari ki topi. BEG, BORROW, STEAL, do anything for the IPO.

Then comes the blocking of Demat Accounts. “If your uncle’s daughter’s brother-in-law’s cousin has a demat account through which he is not going to apply for the IPO, then that account is for me”- says the Reliance-possessed Gujjubhai. “I will apply through that one too. Ohh, how will I manage the funds? Well, Reliance hai na to kahin se bhi kar lenge!! (Well, if it is Reliance, will manage it from anywhere!)

And then comes the actual renting of accounts, people pay upto 1000-1500 Rs. for rent for the IPO. And then lately I have even even come across the scheme where you are paid 10% of the IPO amount upfront, if you let them apply through your account. Whether the person who is paying you upfront is allocated any shares or not by the company is secondary but you get 10% for sure. So for an application of one lakh, you get 10,000 only for nodding your head! And like most Gujaratis if you have opened up demat accounts for your metric pass aunts and uncles then JACKPOT! you get 10,000 X as many accounts as you can manage!

So, you see Reliance is the common factor binding all Gujaratis. Whether it is Mr. Anil’s Reliance or it is Mr. Mukesh’s Reliance- if it is Reliance it is for Gujjus!!

Well, but what I saw today in Ahmedabad beats all this. Today I saw, the levels to which Reliance has penetrated in the minds of Gujaratis and how much they rely on it. As such IPO forms are available a day or two before the IPO opens to the public. But the upcoming Reliance Power IPO have been available since a week for its opening date of 15th Jan and today I saw a small stall put up on one of the busy roads of the city which read-

“RELIANCE POWER IPO forms available here”

For those unaware of what this means, let me tell you never ever so far have there been such stalls put up for the general public like this (Or none in my notice at least). But what you see here is the real Gujju spirit. Some smart chap knows that EVERYONE is going to apply and they all will need forms and help with filling it out. So he has started a small short-term business helping Gujjus do what they like most- invest in Reliance. Well, talk of trickle down effect. I am sure none of the Reliance brothers must not have thought of such effects!!

HAIL Reliance!!

Long Live Reliance!!

Last week a representative of one of the “known” institutes of our city for English Speaking and Communication approached our school. They wanted to address our students about how they can bring about fluency in spoken English. The representative however was not very convincing and moreover, we had exams approaching at that point of time. Hence, I just postponed her hopes and asked her to see me next month. She left a brochure about her institute on my desk before leaving.

The brochure was three-printed-pages stapled up neatly. Somehow luck had it and I was not all that busy that day. To kill time, I started reading through the brochure. And to my dismay and surprise and shock the first paragraph I read had a couple of spelling mistakes. Now the thing with me is, I have got into a habit of playing a spell-checker. I mean, my husband Abhi, uses my language skills in turn for all his computer skills that I use.  So after many years of proof-reading and knowing common errors, I now just glance through to pick out most spelling and grammar mistakes.

Well, but that apart, coming down to our “spoken english institute”. I read further only for the evil pleasure of finding their errors and feeling good about how well we work in their comparison!!

And trust me, the brochure provided enough fun. The entire piece had almost 20 into-the-eye grammar and spelling mistakes like, ‘century‘ was spelled as ‘centuary‘, ‘synonyms‘ was used to mean ‘synonymous‘, ‘etiquette’ had acquired a plural form and was ‘etiquettes‘ (you see if we can have ‘manners’ why can’t we have ‘etiquettes‘??!!), ‘modal‘- the grammar term was spelled ‘model‘ to mean what I really don’t know.

But the crown undoubtedly goes to ‘mam‘. ‘Mam‘- don’t you understand? Well, it is the most common way of spelling ‘ma’am‘ or ‘madam‘!! I am used to ‘mam‘ coming from students but that coming from the brochure of a place that claims to train students in English Language and provide coaching for IELTS and TOEFL?? Now that is what is shocking.

I had a nice time dissecting the brochure and I felt like calling up the representative and humiliating her for being so careless but then I thought better and put it aside. But my mind just doesn’t seem to put it aside. I truly can’t understand how can such phony, filmy institutes claim to teach English?  I mean it hurts. People pay up huge amounts to learn the language assuming it will brighten their job prospects and this is what they learn?? Then they approach schools and seek jobs as teachers!! GREAT so the wrongly learned language continues for God knows how many generations! We now have such a lot of wrong language that the tougher job students face is not learning the language but unlearning the wrong language!

And thanks to mobile, sms and the bollywood it is hard to actually tell, what is correct English and what is not. I am not a die-hard grammar-fanatic but I do like langauge that makes sense. So now we are in an era that not just imbibed Hinglish (Hindi + English) but is heading for Jumblish (Jumbled English). Where each word will mean different to each individual and teachers won’t deduct marks for wrong spelling because you see there will be no right spellings!!

Ahem!!