LifeZamaZing

All of us know how important communication is in our lives. Forget about how important it is to succeed and to make a killing presentation, I would say communication is equally important to get a date, to be received warmly at a bank/shop/friend’s place, to be served quickly at a restaurant, etc. etc. Just about Anything. And as I write about it I actually get the full meaning of what Paul Waltzwick meant when he said “You cannot NOT communicate”. He was so absolutely true. The irony of it is even if you don’t communicate, you ARE intrinsically communicating that you DON’T want to communicate. Ghosh! there is no way around this thing.

So,, we shall be discussing simple communication in good detail here at lifezamazing.com. But for today we shall stick to basic mistakes people make about communicating. However before we start lets briefly understand why we need to communicate

to feel good- it’s so much better after you have spoken to your best friend
to make others feel better- imagine if you could just not tell your children how much they meant to you!
to make others feel bad/ugly/weird- i am sure you have come across such times! I, for one have
to lead- now, how can you even think of leading if you can’t even get yourself across to them
to clarify- all of us do goof up at times and that is when we need to communicate the most
to achieve- i.e. to live life king-size
to progress- remove communication from human evolution and you shall see there is no evolution possible
to avoid exploding- well, how long do you think you would be able to survive without expressing yourself
to enrich- ourselves, our life and that of everyone around us

and for a million other reasons!

Well, volumes and volumes have been written on why’s and how’s of communication. But we somehow still tend to make similar mistakes over and over again. Its really strange to see people not knowing simple rules of communication and that of communicating in time. Many problems also occur due to ill-timed communication. However, generally the most common mistakes that one comes across are

It is understood!
Now, how do you think it is understood?? I mean, is your spouse/child/boss/colleague an oracle or a mind-reader? How do you suppose does the other person knows until you have told him so? This is THE MOST COMMON presumption people tend to make. And it is the most disastrous one as well.

Of course he knows
Fine. Agreed that you had told him that you are really looking forward to the party this weekend. But what’s the harm in repeating it again? Wouldn’t that be better than sitting home all weekend and cribbing over his memory loss? It’s not necessary that once you say it, it stays in the other person’s mind forever. A simple reminder however unnecessary it may seem does not harm. But make sure its polite. No one likes to listen to deadlines in deadly words.

Why clarify? / They shall never know
Probably. But what if luck had it and somehow they did learn about your small, simple, innocent goof up. Would they see it as that? NOOO. To the other party it would be nothing short of a sabotage. And the fact that you hid it purposefully would add necessary fuel to the fire. Hence please clarify your stand or wrong doing. Secrets never stay so for long.

Didn’t get time / Was too busy
Are you kidding me? You who consciously evaluated the situation and decided not to speak about it, are trying to say that you did not find time to tell such a simple thing? And believe me even if you REALLY did not get time for it, no one in this age of easy and rapid communication is going to believe you. So even if it is true think of some other reason.

I was just going to tell you that. / Wanted to tell you that only
And what were you waiting for? For bells to ring or for dinosaurs to re-appear? It sounds so frivolous when you confront someone with an intentionally held back topic and you get answers like “I was just going to tell you” Ha aah… Give me a break. Try something new. Like being honest but tactful.

I didn’t mean that. /I wasn’t saying that
Just when one is caught up from all sides this is the most commonly used excuse. But as I just mentioned everyone knows its just an excuse. And how do you think the other person is NOT going to believe something you just said but understand the tacit implication of your sentence? It doesn’t work. It only proves you to be more foolish.

Ummm…. aaaa….. hmmm… ahnnnn
How much would like to listen to this when you want words? The internal sounds of your throat do not make up for a lost cause or a good impression. They do not prove your competence, innocence or just anything except your lack of preparation.

So, just avoid such simple stupidities and you shall be very much on your way to enriching life.

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