LifeZamaZing

“The age of superheroes is catching up in India.”

“Krrish is first modern day example of Indian superheroes”

“Ohhh, we have to long time to go before we have our own Spiderman or Superman”

Heard these often? Well, I have too but it makes me wonder do we actually don’t have superheroes? Is the era superheroes yet to catch up on us??

And suddenly it dawns on me–NO. Indian superheroes are far older than Hollywood, Bollywood or even Christ!

Well, let us list out a few basic characteristics of superheroes

–>They have superhuman powers

–>They appear and disappear at will

–>They usually work for the betterment of human life

–>Disguise is a part of their personality

–>They have some enemy or dark force that they fight and mostly defeat

Well now Spiderman, Superman, etc. have this all but has it ever struck you that Krishna, Ram, Hanuman, Vishnu, etc. too have it all??

Amazing but we have been programmed to see superheroes only as people with blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin and unreal costumes (i would truly want to meet the costume designer of Superman who designed the underwear-which-is-not-worn-under). It has never struck us that we didn’t need the bollywood badshahs to help us take a fantasy leap. Our ancestors have taken it centuries before the West even learnt to spell f-a-n-t-a-n-s-y!

Let’s understand the powers of our superheroes.
Hanuman has the capacity to fly, fight an an entire nation ( Lanka), carry mountains and still be humble. He saves Lord Ram’s brother by flying with a huge mountain on his back.

Krishna, the master of all superheroes has all the acts of magic to his credit. He can create a silhoutte against the Sun when need be and even remove it with one sweep of hand, can take over devils like Putna as an infant, save thousands from flood (Govardhan Parvat), and of course fight and defeat the evil whether it is Kans or Kauravs.

Ram, the epitome of human-superheroes he has to his credit the incredible fantasy of having rocks float over water just because they had ‘Ram’ inscribed over them. He had the powers to call for wind, sun and rain with his bow and arrow and of course the capacity to fight for nine long days with unqualified soldiers against a mighty army and still come out victorious.

Bhim, Arjun, Bhishma, and scores of other characters in Mahabharata and other mythological works provided (and do so even today) the excitement and zing that humans always needed. Whether it is through the creation of a utopian place (the satyug) or the fear of losing the loved ones or just the unleashed force of creativity. India has never been without superheroes. It’s just that our superheroes have become too super and we now don’t just have their posters in our homes we even have temples built for them.

So, we are miles ahead in the race of superheroes. Every mythological story ever written whether it is the Jai Santoshi Maa or the Jai Shakumbhari Maa, it has the element of superheroes. And don’t forget India has more superwomen or superheroines than what Hollywood has yet to think of.

So, pat your backs and be proud. We are not only far ahead in thinking of superheroes but even in dressing them up. We don’t need chuddies over pants to take millions by fantasy.

What do you say?? Do let me know how wrong right am i on my take on superheroes.

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Every Sunday I oil my hair in the morning and wash it off by the afternoon. And after oiling my hair if there is some oil left, i oil Abhi’s already gray and short tresses. Almost invariably when I go over to oil his hair he is sitting on his PC fidgeting with it. I fail to understand that after six long days of work right before a PC how can he get himself to sit before it the first thing on a Sunday morning. However, he amazes me till date and I always find him there, neck-deep in something that i find truly useless.

However, as soon as I start oiling his hair, his fingers automatically tend to slow down on the keypad and as if he is under a magical spell he gently closes the lids of his eyes evading the presence of the (evil, according to me) PC. My fingers in his hair work far better in taking him off work than any of words do. With full concentration he enjoys being worked on and a naughty yet innocent smile appears on his face. The smile is programmed, like thousand other things in his life, to grow into a broad grin as I work vigorously in his hair and shrink into an unpleasant smirk as i am about to end the Sunday routine. But all good things come to an end and so does this.

But this makes me wonder about the effect of TOUCH. It is just sooo immense yet understated that at times people just don’t tend to realize that they don’t need anti-depressants but just TOUCH! A good tight hug from your loved one could tell you much more than a thousand words or million dollar gift could. Imagine receiving all the presents on your birthday but no one to hug you or kiss you to wish you a birthday. It would be so hollow.

Touch according to me is the most underplayed therapeutic tool. Most Indian families see hugs between friends or family as an overt and hence useless display of emotions. I don’t remember having hugged my father or mother since I became old enough to remember things. It is sad. Not that my parents were careless but they just believed that their daughter is too old to be hugged or to-run-fingers-through-her-hair. I realized I enjoyed the touch of someone’s hand in my hair only when i went to a parlour for a hair massage.

And as i was married by then i decided to extend the pleasure of that magic of touch to my husband. However he hates the idea of oil and his latest request is ” can’t you just massage my hair without oiling them?” The request is met with an emphatic NO but he knows better. He knows that i love to fidget with his palms, hair and forehead. And hence whenever we are watching TV, he discreetly puts himself before me in such a manner that just out of volition I would start running my fingers through his hair. Just as unknowingly as people start biting nails or picking nose. And hence he has his way of oil-without-oil! By the time i realize that i have been systematically induced to work in a particular fashion he has had his quota of touch for the day and he is happy with it.

Shobha De has mentioned in her book ‘Spouse’ about the immense value of such TV-time touch for a marriage and I don’t seem to mind being duped into it at times if guarantees me such a pleasurable marriage. However, I just feel that touch need not be limited to spouses or babies. We as adults too need it. Of course not the touch that you so often get in India thanks to our population density. The touch in mumbai’s local trains carry no such value except the increase it brings in our tolerance levels towards fellow humans.

So, I am convinced that at any age i would like to be hugged and held by the ones i love, to celebrate or mourn whatever life has to offer. And i pray that all of us find people around us whom we can hug so that we don’t have to wait for some Juan Mann to start a ‘Free Hugs campaign’ or a munnabhai movie to remind us of the jadoo ki zhappi!

So, what do you say?? Let the touch spread? Or do you know of something better? Do let me know.

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This is fun. Being a teetotaler never actually saw life after a tequilas. But this is just awesome! Njoi!!

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Yes. I feel everyone in their lifetime should go rafting at least once. It is a once in a lifetime experience. And if you are a non-swimmer, pack your bags right away and head to the best rafting destination you can find.

Well, we took a trip to Dev Prayag and the major feature of it was rafting. It’s called white water rafting and it is basically all about testing your guts. I cannot swim and neither can Abhi, my husband (he has a certificate that he can save lives, but I would be happy if he saved his own!) and nor could all the other people we went with. So in short we were a bunch of novice, non-swimmers who had decided that life needs some excitement. And rafting provided exactly what we were looking for.

Before we started for rafting, I had a million questions. Questions after which I am sure our instructor must have felt like asking me to go to hell. But he was better acquainted with people like me. They had arranged for a raft, life-jackets, helmets and the instructor was himself qualified (unlike my husband, he was properly qualified) and they even had a kayak (a small boat like structure which can house only one person) piloting us in case one of us fell off and needed to be rescued. But my questions were far from the general

What if two people fell off the raft? Whom would the kayak-fellow save?

What if i fell off and was swayed away by the current to some far off place?

How deep is the water here? What are my chances of hitting rocks in a rapid?

What if the raft is punctured?

What if a crocodile were to catch hold of me?

After all these and many more impossible questions Abhi pulled me into the raft and we started for the most untested terrains. But the most fearsome fact that I had not questioned about was the temperature of the water. The water of Alaknanada is nothing but melted ice. It was simply CHILLING. And with the first splash of water on my body I could empathize with the victims of Titanic. Somehow I could just portray myself being afloat and frozen on Alaknanda. Ghosh!! It’s freaky!

Then came the rapids. Rapids are those parts of the river where the water gushes with extreme speed and a lot of waves and at times whirlpools are formed. Rapids could be because of rocks in the path of the river or changes in the terrain of the riverbed, they could be due to anything but rapids are freaky.

However the best part of rafting is rapids. As you approach a rapid, slowly its sound grows on you and you start panicking as the sound levels increase. And once the rapid is visible you feel like leaving the raft and sitting on the river-bank and wishing others best of luck. But because it’s too late and you are already into the rapid, you start paddling harder. The instructor says the better you paddle the lesser are the chances of your raft being overthrown (he feels its a positive statement that there are lesser chances of being overthrown but to a person like me it means only ONE thing- that there ARE chances of being overthrown!) And to shove away that ominous thought I paddle harder. So hard that I don’t find the time to panic. But as soon as the raft is swayed by the huge wave of water it almost flies in the air, and I find myself paddling in the air. But the very next moment I am down and again there is a bigger wave awaiting our raft. A huge amount of water is splashed across our bodies and we scream our lungs out because it is scary and freezing in the real sense. But team work wins and we go past the rapid without having to meet crocs, or to call for the kayak-fellow.

And then we look back at the rapid and feel PROUD. Wah, wah, we say to ourselves. Because we realize that it’s not just the rapid that we have crossed, it is is also the fear of it. It is the testimony of trust that we placed on each other as a team (rafting is team-work. If your team members don’t paddle, you are bound to go down). It is a reinforcement of our faith in science and God at the same time. Without life-jackets and helmets and such rafts, we too would have been threatened by the monstrous river and would not dare step in the river, let alone raft. And God is something you just can’t help thank. After all it is the brilliant force of the Almighty that makes Alaknanda what it is, and us too!

So, get hold of your fears and go rafting. You deserve it. And in case you have something similar to share please go ahead. Would love to read from you.

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It is diwali and why i love it and how much i love it is something i have already mentioned earlier but now i have one more reason to add.

Diwali means holidays, and holidays mean outings! So, this diwali we are headed to Dev Prayag, Haridwar. Don’t worry I am not seeking salvation or going there for moksha, its just that The Ganges make up beautiful treks and that is what has fascinated all of us.

We are eight of us and will be traveling on 11th and should be back by 16th. Quite a break isn’t it?

Well, a well deserved break or not is something to think about because i work with schools and am on holidays since two weeks. I know many people go green with jealousy after listening to it. But schools have their own advantages. So me is going to make the most of those adavantages and am going on a holiday.

Will post a few pics and whatever interesting stuff I come across.

Till then,

Happy Diwali!!!

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I am not sure how many of you witnessed this live (may be on TV, but live) during the academy awards but I am simply fascinated by it.I was sooo much in love with it that I decided to have our school (I work with a school) students perform something like this (exactly this would be impossible). But unfortunately the couch potato generation of today didn’t even manage to touch their heads to their knees. Hence had to forcibly drop the idea! I was truly disappointed. But then I saw this video again and was once again appalled by the precision and agility of the performers.

So, this one is for all of you, a refreshing sort of shadow dance. The group is called Pilobolus and I am always on the look out for their videos on youtube.

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I LOVE DIWALI!!

I really don’t know how many people like it, love it or loathe it but i simply love it. The festival has a vibrancy about itself. New clothes, crackers, lights, diyas, family, sweets, holidays, outings, kaka-kaki, mausa-mausi, ohhhhh my GOD. No wonder I love it.

Now, i know there are a lot of people who have justified concerns about it. Like the choking pollution due to crackers, the unbearable sounds, the impossible traffic and all the mayhem that it creates. But you know what, with all due respect to all you caring and knowledgeable citizens, I am happily and purposefully ignorant in this case. I don’t want to be enlightened on an issue that would spoil even a little fun of diwali or make me feel guilty about it. So, simply SORRY!

Okkkk, what i enjoy the most about it? ummm i guess just about everything. Everything i mentioned. But it is the run up to diwali that i love so much. You know shopping for new clothes, all the malls and hoardings done up to woo us to buy a few unnecessary and extra things. The impossibly looooonggg hours of shopping and not to mention the queues at the trial rooms. The hiked up rates of simple salwar-suits and then the ishtyyle with which everyone flaunts them during festivals. Ohhh that is simply fantastic. Its like being kids and seeing what others are wearing and how good, bad, blessed are we in comparison to others.

Then another thing that i truly enjoy is rangoli. For anyone of you who does not know what is rangoli (i don’t believe there could be one but still) it is a form of art in which various designs are made on the floor in entrance of a house in a variety of colors that signifies festivities. Before I my marriage rangoli meant long family meets that would stretch till 2 in in the morning. My mother was the leader who would decided upon the size and the design of the rangoli and my sister was the designer who would talk of which color would go with which one and what color combination would make it simply stunning. And I was the junior artist. The kind of person you shove around and call upon only for menial tasks. I would be given bigger patches that would require little finesse and NEVER the borders. If I tried I would be reprimanded immediately for the mess that I would have undoubtedly made. But you know what, thanks to all that I managed to learn rangoli far better than I would have managed otherwise. And then when I went abroad for my Masters, the Indian Society at the Uni organized a Diwali function and I did the rangoli out there. Can you believe it, the junior artist was suddenly displaying her novice (for India) but expert (for phorren) skills in phorrren countries. And with no delay I sent my family back home the pics of that rangoli saying- see MY rangoli has been appreciated (and it actually was, stop grinning!) by phorreners, not yours! HA HA HA. How I reveled in that knowledge for years. I’ve added a few pics at the end. The phorren rangoli ain’t great, but for a junior artist- its quite a deal.

Then come the diyas. There is some incredibly rustic elegance about them. They suit just about any kind of architecture. Whether yours is a humble abode, a jhopadi, or a palace- diyas light it up to so well that you can’t help but smile. It’s gentle flame has a miraculous beauty that no electric series lighting or neon tubes can bring about.

Ohhh the post has become tooo long and it is time to light diyas and now that I am married and no one in my in-laws’ family knows rangoli so I am the Grand Master and my junior artists are calling for me to instruct them over the design and colors, I would better rush!! Ahaa I feel sooooooo promoted!;)

But to all you people here, you know what- TRY enjoying diwali if you don’t. Shop even if your pocket holes are bigger than you can manage, try rangoli- junior artists have a hope, and light a few diyas, believe me they make you feel special, even more than imported candles.

Okkk me running…. HAPPYYYYYYYYY DIWALIIIIIIIII

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Ok, coming down to second part of Simple Communication. Those of you who are here for the first time, this is the second post of Simple communication ain’t so simple. It would be helpful if you could go through the first post before you go ahead.
Here we shall talk of some really really simple rules of communication. Things that I believe everyone, just everyone should know. And some of which I am sure all of you do.

And before you go ahead, some good news- the first post in this series has been featured on the home page of Ezine Articles. SMIIILEEEEEE. You could check it out here. Thank you everyone for the support.

Okkk now to start with

—>Public = positive
No matter how offended you are with someone NEVER EVER criticize the other party in public (public is anyone except the two of you). You shall earn nothing but contempt of the other person and back biting of all your viewers. Everyone makes mistakes but no one likes to be insulted in public. Hence if you have to remember just one rule about communication it is this. One of the most able managers I know, who was a perfectionist to the core, somehow never had stable or happy staff. Because every time she found someone’s mistake she would spare no time to reprimand the staff believing it would rectify the mistake and warn others. However, rectification never happened and the warning bells said- Never get caught with your mistake and jump to the very next decent paying job that you get. In spite of her excellent efforts, her section never performed excellently. Pity, isn’t it?! Hence always speak positive things in public. And when you appreciate- be LOUD. Everyone loves it. Exaggerate the positives.

—->Negative = No one else around
Your child may need a good lesson in manners but always have the manners to give it in privacy of your home. One cruel sentence in public does more harm than a hundred appreciating words in public can. So never ever demean others in front of others. Doing so compels the other party to be on the defensive and eventually leads to bitterness. So control thy temper and tongue if you want the other person to improve. Otherwise lash him with fittingly brutal words and he shall make it a point to live up to those words.

—>L………S.
Listen………..Speak. Always remember communication is a two way channel and listening is the first step to it. And yes, listening is the first step even if you want the other person to listen to you. If you think that just by speaking you will be heard, you couldn’t be more wrong. However in case of instructions like, please clear the cabinet, be sure to give the instruction. Because if you don’t then that task cannot be done. In case of instructions probably you might have to speak before you listen. But otherwise the golden rule always works.

—> Something is better than nothing
Speak up. Even if it is only gurgling noises and incoherent argument, it will be better than not having said anything and letting things go haywire. Convince yourself of one thing- It is better to keep the communication channel open. You might be misunderstood if you are not well-prepared but hey, if you never voiced your voice, you think you would be understood correctly??! But usually this works in private communication. Professionally you would have to be more prepared.

—>Sort yourself out
ANALYZE. EVALUATE. UNDERSTAND. Imagine a baker who wants to teach you to bake. But what if he is not sure of the recipe? How effectively would he be able to teach you? Similarly, until you have sorted out your feelings, evaluated your emotions and understood the situation, you shall never be able to make coherent communication. And the topping to the half baked cake would be your frustration out others not understanding you! But sweetheart, you’ve got to understand yourself first, isn’t it?

—>Wait, till you are sorted out
Now, say after hours of debating and warring with yourself, you are still unclear about your emotions. Then how do you communicate? By keeping quiet. See there is no point in speaking up something until you know what you want to. But yes, as a tip you could try closing yourself in a room and debating the issues with yourself ALOUD. Try using the mirror as your alter. Keep two chairs, change your place physically from one to another, understand the ambivalence of the situation and then speak up. Or you could simply write out your feelings.It helps in clarifying your vision. But until you and your alter ego are at peace, do us a favor, postpone any arguments.

—>Say sorry!
Come on you know that you are wrong. You are only and only defending yourself. But for heaven’s sake try admitting the mistake. Trust me there is no such exhilarating feeling. You will feel completely unburdened and the next step about making up for the mistake would start. Till you keep defending yourself, you don’t even take remedial measures.

—> Take help of a professional
The professional could be your best friend, the agony aunts of newspapers, a book or a family member, or an actual professional. I have seen many a times, just by speaking yourself out, you feel elevated. And then you can pitch your stand or justify your feeling before the concerned parties. You see, rehearsal doesn’t hurt.

—-> Instructions got to be clear
Say you are at any supervisory position. You could be a housewife supervising the maid but when you are given that responsibility make sure your instructions are clear and consistent. I know of this house-maker who is fully dedicated to her family. But her maids are perennially confused and under pressure. Because one, she will not give clear and precise instructions and her instructions are hardly ever consistent. Make tea, would be her instruction. But make it for how many people, use this milk or that (she has a couple of types), with or without adrak- no other instructions. The maid using her common sense makes the one she made last time. But this time the homemaker wanted a different sort, of which the maid naturally had no idea. Hence a clash. The homemaker conveniently forgets that it is she who is not clear and consistent. Hence be clear and consistent.

So, ingrain these ground rules into your daily life and you shall not need to read any more books or articles or blogs on communication. But you’d better keep reading mine.

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[I am in the middle of a series about communication but I just couldn't help write about this one. So please excuse;)]

I have always believed that jealousy springs from insecurity and hence it is not something one can openly strut around or at least be proud of.

But today, I was in for a real shock. My husband’s younger brother recently got engaged to his long-time girlfriend. Sweet couple they make. Totally bubbly, chirpy and the newly romantics. Though we (me and my husband) had a courtship of more than 3 years and a real lovey-dovey one at that the newly-engaged’s romance makes me nostalgic.

Talking of what prompted me to write this post- today all of us went shopping. In one of the posh stores there was a poster with a male model. My brother-in-law, J, commented about how he would make a far better model than the one in this poster. He is totally, completely, fully in love with himself and only a degree or two short of narcissism. The reaction of C (J’s fiancee) was an emphatic negation of his castle-in-air-wish. She stated as a matter of ethics and pride that she would NEVER let him work as a model. I was witnessing all that and I believed the two of them are just joking themselves. Until she changed her tone and underlined the fact that she truly meant it.

I just confirmed by asking her whether she was joking or she would actually not allow him? And she confirmed my fears saying “of course I wouldn’t. I can’t stand my husband being looked at by other females. I would NEVER EVER let him work in such professions. I can’t stand other dames talking of him.” She wasn’t being bossy or over-powering but she just couldn’t let her to-be-husband do it. She was just being natural about it.

But to me it was a wholly unnatural situation. Not because it was a female who was asking a male not to work or do so and so. But because I for one just can’t understand the fact that how would some other female/male looking your spouse make your spouse want you lesser. I mean, I have lived with this premise that the relationships I hold are not at the mercy of the advent or in-advent of a stranger. It is me and my partner who make or break a relationship. The relationship is not stable because there is no third party and neither is it unstable because there is a third party. If some other female can lull away my husband then our relationship must have had holes. I or he must have left some area of our relationship untouched where the third party could make a better mark. And if my husband or any of my relatives for that matter are too fickle-minded to understand the worthiness of a relationship then I would rather not stay with them for long.

Hence jealousy has hardly ever made sense to me. I, on the contrary have enjoyed the attention my mate would garner at parties. I feel proud. I feel like holding his hand and teasing the on-looking females and telling them “See i got what you yearn for…ha ha ha”

But what I heard today shook my entire understanding of the concept of jealousy. And hence me is posting this at midnight. Hope by the morning I would have forgotten it or sorted it out.

Please do tell me what is your take on jealousy. Are me and my hubby the only ones living on this premise? Has enlightenment suddenly dawned on me today and hence I see it as a shock or was C’s behavior a sign of immature childish romance? (How I wish you would vote for latter reason)

Good night folks. Let me not dream of it tonight!

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