LifeZamaZing

Reliance, Gujarat and business have an unbreakable-ambuja-cement bond. Come any news about Reliance and entire Gujarat is definitely up and listening. Whether the stock market gurus are or not but the harried looking lonely guy in Wankaner is definitely aware of it.

And when Reliance declares an IPO- well, it is mega hubbub for Gujarat. No soon is the slightest of news spread about it, the active stock marketers start adjusting their investments with the IPO as it’s focal point. And when the news is actually out, BINGO!!! there is a tangible vibrancy in the entire state. Almost everyone, yes everyone who has finance and has something to do with stocks (which everyone in Gujarat has!) is up and ears for it.

It starts with collecting money. All the money that had been lent out or given on interest or otherwise is suddenly called for in extreme emergency. Philanthropy definitely takes a backseat for a few days and the common dialogue is - ” bhai mare nathi chale evu. reliance no IPO aayo che mane paisa moklay!” (”Bhai, it is dire emergency, I HAVE TO apply for the Reliance IPO, please pay up.”).

Then comes the udhaari ki topi. BEG, BORROW, STEAL, do anything for the IPO.

Then comes the blocking of Demat Accounts. “If your uncle’s daughter’s brother-in-law’s cousin has a demat account through which he is not going to apply for the IPO, then that account is for me”- says the Reliance-possessed Gujjubhai. “I will apply through that one too. Ohh, how will I manage the funds? Well, Reliance hai na to kahin se bhi kar lenge!! (Well, if it is Reliance, will manage it from anywhere!)

And then comes the actual renting of accounts, people pay upto 1000-1500 Rs. for rent for the IPO. And then lately I have even even come across the scheme where you are paid 10% of the IPO amount upfront, if you let them apply through your account. Whether the person who is paying you upfront is allocated any shares or not by the company is secondary but you get 10% for sure. So for an application of one lakh, you get 10,000 only for nodding your head! And like most Gujaratis if you have opened up demat accounts for your metric pass aunts and uncles then JACKPOT! you get 10,000 X as many accounts as you can manage!

So, you see Reliance is the common factor binding all Gujaratis. Whether it is Mr. Anil’s Reliance or it is Mr. Mukesh’s Reliance- if it is Reliance it is for Gujjus!!

Well, but what I saw today in Ahmedabad beats all this. Today I saw, the levels to which Reliance has penetrated in the minds of Gujaratis and how much they rely on it. As such IPO forms are available a day or two before the IPO opens to the public. But the upcoming Reliance Power IPO have been available since a week for its opening date of 15th Jan and today I saw a small stall put up on one of the busy roads of the city which read-

“RELIANCE POWER IPO forms available here”

For those unaware of what this means, let me tell you never ever so far have there been such stalls put up for the general public like this (Or none in my notice at least). But what you see here is the real Gujju spirit. Some smart chap knows that EVERYONE is going to apply and they all will need forms and help with filling it out. So he has started a small short-term business helping Gujjus do what they like most- invest in Reliance. Well, talk of trickle down effect. I am sure none of the Reliance brothers must not have thought of such effects!!

HAIL Reliance!!

Long Live Reliance!!

Popularity: 83% [?]

Last week a representative of one of the “known” institutes of our city for English Speaking and Communication approached our school. They wanted to address our students about how they can bring about fluency in spoken English. The representative however was not very convincing and moreover, we had exams approaching at that point of time. Hence, I just postponed her hopes and asked her to see me next month. She left a brochure about her institute on my desk before leaving.

The brochure was three-printed-pages stapled up neatly. Somehow luck had it and I was not all that busy that day. To kill time, I started reading through the brochure. And to my dismay and surprise and shock the first paragraph I read had a couple of spelling mistakes. Now the thing with me is, I have got into a habit of playing a spell-checker. I mean, my husband Abhi, uses my language skills in turn for all his computer skills that I use.  So after many years of proof-reading and knowing common errors, I now just glance through to pick out most spelling and grammar mistakes.

Well, but that apart, coming down to our “spoken english institute”. I read further only for the evil pleasure of finding their errors and feeling good about how well we work in their comparison!!

And trust me, the brochure provided enough fun. The entire piece had almost 20 into-the-eye grammar and spelling mistakes like, ‘century‘ was spelled as ‘centuary‘, ‘synonyms‘ was used to mean ‘synonymous‘, ‘etiquette’ had acquired a plural form and was ‘etiquettes‘ (you see if we can have ‘manners’ why can’t we have ‘etiquettes‘??!!), ‘modal‘- the grammar term was spelled ‘model‘ to mean what I really don’t know.

But the crown undoubtedly goes to ‘mam‘. ‘Mam‘- don’t you understand? Well, it is the most common way of spelling ‘ma’am‘ or ‘madam‘!! I am used to ‘mam‘ coming from students but that coming from the brochure of a place that claims to train students in English Language and provide coaching for IELTS and TOEFL?? Now that is what is shocking.

I had a nice time dissecting the brochure and I felt like calling up the representative and humiliating her for being so careless but then I thought better and put it aside. But my mind just doesn’t seem to put it aside. I truly can’t understand how can such phony, filmy institutes claim to teach English?  I mean it hurts. People pay up huge amounts to learn the language assuming it will brighten their job prospects and this is what they learn?? Then they approach schools and seek jobs as teachers!! GREAT so the wrongly learned language continues for God knows how many generations! We now have such a lot of wrong language that the tougher job students face is not learning the language but unlearning the wrong language!

And thanks to mobile, sms and the bollywood it is hard to actually tell, what is correct English and what is not. I am not a die-hard grammar-fanatic but I do like langauge that makes sense. So now we are in an era that not just imbibed Hinglish (Hindi + English) but is heading for Jumblish (Jumbled English). Where each word will mean different to each individual and teachers won’t deduct marks for wrong spelling because you see there will be no right spellings!!

Ahem!!

Popularity: 75% [?]

Hey, for the past fortnight or more the blog has been giving me a lot of trouble. It was some problem with the server and blah blah blah.

But finally we are through all that. And now hopefully, just hopefully there shall be  no more problems.

Sorry for any inconvenience it might have caused.

And hey, Happy New Year to all of you. May 2008 truly make lifeamaZing!!

Popularity: 70% [?]