LifeZamaZing

Yes. I feel everyone in their lifetime should go rafting at least once. It is a once in a lifetime experience. And if you are a non-swimmer, pack your bags right away and head to the best rafting destination you can find.

Well, we took a trip to Dev Prayag and the major feature of it was rafting. It’s called white water rafting and it is basically all about testing your guts. I cannot swim and neither can Abhi, my husband (he has a certificate that he can save lives, but I would be happy if he saved his own!) and nor could all the other people we went with. So in short we were a bunch of novice, non-swimmers who had decided that life needs some excitement. And rafting provided exactly what we were looking for.

Before we started for rafting, I had a million questions. Questions after which I am sure our instructor must have felt like asking me to go to hell. But he was better acquainted with people like me. They had arranged for a raft, life-jackets, helmets and the instructor was himself qualified (unlike my husband, he was properly qualified) and they even had a kayak (a small boat like structure which can house only one person) piloting us in case one of us fell off and needed to be rescued. But my questions were far from the general

What if two people fell off the raft? Whom would the kayak-fellow save?

What if i fell off and was swayed away by the current to some far off place?

How deep is the water here? What are my chances of hitting rocks in a rapid?

What if the raft is punctured?

What if a crocodile were to catch hold of me?

After all these and many more impossible questions Abhi pulled me into the raft and we started for the most untested terrains. But the most fearsome fact that I had not questioned about was the temperature of the water. The water of Alaknanada is nothing but melted ice. It was simply CHILLING. And with the first splash of water on my body I could empathize with the victims of Titanic. Somehow I could just portray myself being afloat and frozen on Alaknanda. Ghosh!! It’s freaky!

Then came the rapids. Rapids are those parts of the river where the water gushes with extreme speed and a lot of waves and at times whirlpools are formed. Rapids could be because of rocks in the path of the river or changes in the terrain of the riverbed, they could be due to anything but rapids are freaky.

However the best part of rafting is rapids. As you approach a rapid, slowly its sound grows on you and you start panicking as the sound levels increase. And once the rapid is visible you feel like leaving the raft and sitting on the river-bank and wishing others best of luck. But because it’s too late and you are already into the rapid, you start paddling harder. The instructor says the better you paddle the lesser are the chances of your raft being overthrown (he feels its a positive statement that there are lesser chances of being overthrown but to a person like me it means only ONE thing- that there ARE chances of being overthrown!) And to shove away that ominous thought I paddle harder. So hard that I don’t find the time to panic. But as soon as the raft is swayed by the huge wave of water it almost flies in the air, and I find myself paddling in the air. But the very next moment I am down and again there is a bigger wave awaiting our raft. A huge amount of water is splashed across our bodies and we scream our lungs out because it is scary and freezing in the real sense. But team work wins and we go past the rapid without having to meet crocs, or to call for the kayak-fellow.

And then we look back at the rapid and feel PROUD. Wah, wah, we say to ourselves. Because we realize that it’s not just the rapid that we have crossed, it is is also the fear of it. It is the testimony of trust that we placed on each other as a team (rafting is team-work. If your team members don’t paddle, you are bound to go down). It is a reinforcement of our faith in science and God at the same time. Without life-jackets and helmets and such rafts, we too would have been threatened by the monstrous river and would not dare step in the river, let alone raft. And God is something you just can’t help thank. After all it is the brilliant force of the Almighty that makes Alaknanda what it is, and us too!

So, get hold of your fears and go rafting. You deserve it. And in case you have something similar to share please go ahead. Would love to read from you.

Popularity: 45% [?]

[I am in the middle of a series about communication but I just couldn't help write about this one. So please excuse;)]

I have always believed that jealousy springs from insecurity and hence it is not something one can openly strut around or at least be proud of.

But today, I was in for a real shock. My husband’s younger brother recently got engaged to his long-time girlfriend. Sweet couple they make. Totally bubbly, chirpy and the newly romantics. Though we (me and my husband) had a courtship of more than 3 years and a real lovey-dovey one at that the newly-engaged’s romance makes me nostalgic.

Talking of what prompted me to write this post- today all of us went shopping. In one of the posh stores there was a poster with a male model. My brother-in-law, J, commented about how he would make a far better model than the one in this poster. He is totally, completely, fully in love with himself and only a degree or two short of narcissism. The reaction of C (J’s fiancee) was an emphatic negation of his castle-in-air-wish. She stated as a matter of ethics and pride that she would NEVER let him work as a model. I was witnessing all that and I believed the two of them are just joking themselves. Until she changed her tone and underlined the fact that she truly meant it.

I just confirmed by asking her whether she was joking or she would actually not allow him? And she confirmed my fears saying “of course I wouldn’t. I can’t stand my husband being looked at by other females. I would NEVER EVER let him work in such professions. I can’t stand other dames talking of him.” She wasn’t being bossy or over-powering but she just couldn’t let her to-be-husband do it. She was just being natural about it.

But to me it was a wholly unnatural situation. Not because it was a female who was asking a male not to work or do so and so. But because I for one just can’t understand the fact that how would some other female/male looking your spouse make your spouse want you lesser. I mean, I have lived with this premise that the relationships I hold are not at the mercy of the advent or in-advent of a stranger. It is me and my partner who make or break a relationship. The relationship is not stable because there is no third party and neither is it unstable because there is a third party. If some other female can lull away my husband then our relationship must have had holes. I or he must have left some area of our relationship untouched where the third party could make a better mark. And if my husband or any of my relatives for that matter are too fickle-minded to understand the worthiness of a relationship then I would rather not stay with them for long.

Hence jealousy has hardly ever made sense to me. I, on the contrary have enjoyed the attention my mate would garner at parties. I feel proud. I feel like holding his hand and teasing the on-looking females and telling them “See i got what you yearn for…ha ha ha”

But what I heard today shook my entire understanding of the concept of jealousy. And hence me is posting this at midnight. Hope by the morning I would have forgotten it or sorted it out.

Please do tell me what is your take on jealousy. Are me and my hubby the only ones living on this premise? Has enlightenment suddenly dawned on me today and hence I see it as a shock or was C’s behavior a sign of immature childish romance? (How I wish you would vote for latter reason)

Good night folks. Let me not dream of it tonight!

Popularity: 29% [?]

Are you a horror movie buff? Fascinated by those unearthly characters and those shrill, chilling voices? Do you enjoy the blood and darkness that is all-pervasive in those movies? Is your idea of a thriller movie a spine-chilling tale of death and violence?

If you do then tell me something, are you scared of the dark? Do you think twice before entering a new place after evenings? Does the fear of ghosts and wild creatures grip you as soon as you are all alone by yourself? Does the trrrr sound of doors or rustle of leaves remind you of a horrific scene?

If you have answered in affirmative to the first set of questions the chances are very high that you would answer in YES in the other set too. Come on let’s face it, the reason why we fear ghosts or spirits or aatmas or etc. etc. is because we know something of this sort exists and that it does BAD things to human beings. But imagine if you never knew that any such thing existed?? Life would be quite a boon, isn’t it?

I have come across so many people who have a captivating fear of all things non-existent. And their fears are not only self-sustaining but self-growing. Their fear feeds on itself. It gives those individuals some uncanny sort of kick to fear more! They seem to like to get petrified. It’s as if the fear seeks more reasons to fear.

But what I fail to gather is WHY on earth do they watch such stuff when they know that it is going to scare the shit out of them and that they would not be able to take one step outside on their own? Isn’t it quite silly?

On closer observation I noticed that those who watched such stuff they mostly did it when people known to them would be around. With their friends or family or in familiar comfortable environments. And at times they even did it to prove their strength and brawn. They try and control their mind and do not show fear while watching it. But that happens only as long as they are in familiar environments or with known people. As soon as they are alone the first thing that flashes in their minds is the bloodiest scene of the movie. They may brush it aside for an instance but it does stay put only to pop up later when it is exactly not required. And then it scares the wits out of them. I know a family that does not miss a single episode of the horror serial that comes on the TV. They all get together and watch it. But later in the night if someone wakes up to fetch water or if the door creeks a little the entire family gets cold feet. Now, isn’t that silly and stupid to say the least? Why watch such stuff when you know that it does nothing but handicap you further.

Now for an instance imagine if we were NEVER exposed to such movies or programs. Would we still be scared of such things? Would we not enjoy the breeze and the bristling sound of leaves in late autumn evenings? Wouldn’t the tweaking sound of door remind us to oil the hinges rather than flash some gruesome memories? Wouldn’t darkness be simply that and not a canvas of death and bloodshed?

Much of what we are today is the sum total of our experiences (known and unknown). If only we could wipe clean our memories of those ghastly tales that we have watched so far then darkness, ghosts, spirits, etc. would have no bearing on us.

Can’t believe me? Just ask yourself this question- Were you scared after watching Casper (or Ratatouille- the latest animated adventure of a rat with a French chef as the ghost)??

No, right? Why, you should have been scared! After all the two of them too had ghosts! But no, you would not be because those ghosts were presented in a manner to entertain you and not scare you. So do you get my point? You shall be the slave of unwanted fears only as long as you let your psyche experience those fears. So next time simply say a NO to horror. And I know what to show to my kid when he is growing- the friendly ghosts of Casper and Ratatouille! So ghosts will be his buddies and darkness shall not be his limitation!

Popularity: 26% [?]

Talk of technology to anyone who is not into the world of technology and the usual reactions are

‘It is deriding families of the “family time” that they had earlier’

‘It is a bane to the social system. It is an invasion on our family’s privacy’

‘Our children just don’t speak to us. They avoid family outings and gatherings. All they want is their PS2s or Nintendos or mobiles’

‘The gadgetized world is going to tear apart the tradition of families’

blah blah blah!!

The list is never ending. However I do not agree to it. I truly do not feel that technology is averse to the closeness within a family or any relationship. But before I explain why I feel so let me tell you I am a purely NON-TECHNOLOGY person. I am a people’s person. I am a books’ person. I need to see, feel, touch things or people to understand them. But I have learnt over a period of time that technology can be used to my advantage and to achieve what I enjoy. Technology is not my enemy anymore (it was earlier).

And yeah when I say technology here I am not talking of NASA’s space projects or a breakthrough in medical science. I am talking of technology that we see around. That affects us directly. Technology that we have to deal with wishfully or forcefully .

Alright now, how is it that I have managed to enslave technology and not the other way round? Simple because I have learnt to update myself on technology and when to switch it on and off.

The first thing that I learnt was that I WILL have to educate myself on technology or become a moth-eaten, timed-out obsolete individual with levels of self-confidence dropping at an alarming rate.

I chose to survive. I decided to look stupid rather than become extinct. I mean I started questioning simplest of simple things. Things like what is bluetooth ( I don’t believe I didn’t know that!), what is the difference between yahoo and yahoomail, how do I text a message, etc. etc. In short I was laughed at many a times.

With this gumption I took to the world of technology and today I feel that it can (and at times even does) help families come together and not grow apart. So sticking to the topic of how families can use technology for strengthening family ties I would say

Learn the use of it. Especially elders. Evolve or become extinct. Don’t expect your children to have meaningful conversations with you when you cannot even spot the difference between a PS2 and a Nintendo or a CD and a DVD.

Now assuming that you have learnt the basic ropes of computers, internet, mobiles and video games how do you make the most of them?

• Join the most frequently used social networking sites in your group. It could be any like facebook, myspace, orkut, bebo, hi5, etc. Don’t fall for the cynics words that it is only for the teenagers and college-going kids.
• Text your friends or family not just on certain occasions but simply to share a nice thought or just to say good morning!
• Ask the younger lot about whicht are the latest favorites in terms of video games or PC games.
• Play those games. You may be ultimately pathetic in the first go but doesn’t matter. You would at least not feel like an idiot when next time they use the game’s jargon.
• Surf the net frequently. The language barrier on internet is slowly coming down and you can find almost everything in your own language.
• Moreover the net has an awesome amount of information on everything and especially technology. Learn about something that your children or spouse too would not know about and act like tech-guru when you disclose your knowledge.
• Send virtual gifts. After all they cost you nothing!
• Use applications like Google doc, spreadsheets and calenders to plan family vacations or outings. And believe me there are families who do it. I just came across one such person whose blog is titled Postmodern Puritan.
• Define times when to use the gadgets and when to switch them off. Have ground rules laid like ‘Mobiles to switched off in bed’ or ‘No video games after 10′
• But yeah don’t play the spoil sport always. I mean don’t curse others when they are having a good time with it. If you cannot comprehend it or update yourself on it, you have no right to snatch away other’s pleasure of being in sync with the world.
• Don’t fall for lame logics like ‘the world survived before the advent of the computer’, ‘technology lacks human touch’. Because if you do fall for it, keep in mind you are choosing extinction over evolution.
• And hey, after all technology IS human made. Could you imagine a generation ago about sharing your birthday party’s photos instantly with everyone you know or learning about your distant cousin’s illness in moments?

So please don’t curse technology if you can’t make head or tail out of it. It is you who need to update yourself.

And if you still don’t believe me, you should meet my mother. She could hardly handle the mouse but that was until she found that her long lost game of Tetris was now available on my teenage brother’s laptop. Since that day my mother is hooked to it and it has now become more of her laptop than his. And of course on the way she has learnt the difference between ‘C’- the programming language and ‘C:’!!!

And not to mention, it has brought the two of them closer as they now have something to discuss even if it is about teasing my mother on her naivety in computers.

So, you see technology DOES help families come together. Only that you should learn how to use it.

[I had just completed the post when I came across this website on technorati that lists a number of vendors who print a few copies of photos for free! Now can you beat that? Not just share pics for free but even print them for free?! And who was talking of family being pulled apart by technology?]

Popularity: 13% [?]

So, have you experienced the same boorrrrriiiing life with same routine and a sequence of events that seem to occupy you forever? Well if so then you need to break out of it. We as human being have a tendency to seek change, to seek newness, to improvise (and at times make things worse while improvising). But there are times when we just can’t do it. No matter what you try your schedules are too packed to allow something so trivial as change or surprise in it. So then you give in to it and wait and wait and wait for a time when you can take that long vacation or a weekend off. But how often can you do that? If you are as lucky as my friend Anjali then you can probably six times a year (excluding weekend breaks) but otherwise you would have to manage with 1 or at most 2 vacations. But what about the other 340 odd days of the year that you slog and pity yourself. Nothing they are simply SAD. But that was only until I felt that sadness. When I did I started thinking of ways to entertain myself. Ways that would bring me a wasp of fresh air in a not-so-fresh-aired city. And moreover the ways had to be such that they should fit in to my daily routine. After all I am not as lucky as Anjali!

So, here are some ways that would help us break the vicious circle of monotony within our day. I have tried a few of them and am on the way to try the rest.

• Bunk work on Monday. No seeming reason just a treat for yourself
• Keep up till late in the night to watch the favorite movie on the channel and then challenge yourself to reach the work in time next day. And just an off the record tip- forget the bath to make it in time. You see one more way of breaking monotony!
• Put on the oldest clothes in your closet and smile when people give that weird look.
• Smile at strangers. When they smile back give them a straight look and then laugh over their confusion.
• If you order food or coffee regularly over some cafe try different varieties. They may be whacky but just try it. Or for that matter try a different eatery altogether!
• Take the stairs instead of the lift. If you can’t make it all the way to your apartment take a lift from middle.
• Jump steps. I mean climb two stairs at a time.
• Surprise your spouse. Land up at his/her office for no reason. (But don’t be disheartened if he/she is busy with something. Remember it was your idea to do it.)
• Take a different road to your work or back home. enjoy the breeze and sights on the way.
• Play the radio/CD LOUD in your car with windows rolled down. And yeah shake to the loud music. When others stare at you in disgust for playing music sooo loud, give them a lovely smile that would make them feel jealous of the fun you are having.
• Write a note to your loved one. It could be your spouse/child/parent or anyone. Leave it discreetly at a place where they would not be expecting it. Like the shower or on their handbag. Use your imagination.
• The note doesn’t always have to romantic or mush-mushy. It can be something as trivial as- “Just wanted to draw your attention!” or “S M I L E”
• Cook. If you regularly do- have your husband or children do it. Don’t worry about spoiling. It happens.
• Paint. Doesn’t matter if you are bad at it. Just give it a try. And then laugh at yourself if it is indeed crazy.
• Pamper yourself. Visit your beautician or relish a cake.
• Dress up beautifully for a simple dinner at home. Don’t get into reasons and ‘why’ and ‘what for’ about it. Do it just like that.
• While walking, dance or sway a little. Take a few long steps and then take very tiny steps.
• Kick the pebbles, cans whatever is lying on the streets right to your home. When you reach home with your kick-buddy, kick it hard and shout GOAL!!
• Just sing ALOUD. Sing to your favorite tunes.

Ohh there are million more ways to do it. I just can’t stop but for now these should be sufficient. I am sure you too would be having a lot of such ideas. If you do please post me a few. Would be glad to include them in the list. Let’s make it a spirited post!

Other ways to kill monotony as submitted by the readers.

Deepti Jani says- “By shopping! As it removes sadness, takes out boredom of our lives and also reduces the pain of stuffed wallet!”

Popularity: 13% [?]