Nov 1

[I am in the middle of a series about communication but I just couldn't help write about this one. So please excuse;)]

I have always believed that jealousy springs from insecurity and hence it is not something one can openly strut around or at least be proud of.

But today, I was in for a real shock. My husband’s younger brother recently got engaged to his long-time girlfriend. Sweet couple they make. Totally bubbly, chirpy and the newly romantics. Though we (me and my husband) had a courtship of more than 3 years and a real lovey-dovey one at that the newly-engaged’s romance makes me nostalgic.

Talking of what prompted me to write this post- today all of us went shopping. In one of the posh stores there was a poster with a male model. My brother-in-law, J, commented about how he would make a far better model than the one in this poster. He is totally, completely, fully in love with himself and only a degree or two short of narcissism. The reaction of C (J’s fiancee) was an emphatic negation of his castle-in-air-wish. She stated as a matter of ethics and pride that she would NEVER let him work as a model. I was witnessing all that and I believed the two of them are just joking themselves. Until she changed her tone and underlined the fact that she truly meant it.

I just confirmed by asking her whether she was joking or she would actually not allow him? And she confirmed my fears saying “of course I wouldn’t. I can’t stand my husband being looked at by other females. I would NEVER EVER let him work in such professions. I can’t stand other dames talking of him.” She wasn’t being bossy or over-powering but she just couldn’t let her to-be-husband do it. She was just being natural about it.

But to me it was a wholly unnatural situation. Not because it was a female who was asking a male not to work or do so and so. But because I for one just can’t understand the fact that how would some other female/male looking your spouse make your spouse want you lesser. I mean, I have lived with this premise that the relationships I hold are not at the mercy of the advent or in-advent of a stranger. It is me and my partner who make or break a relationship. The relationship is not stable because there is no third party and neither is it unstable because there is a third party. If some other female can lull away my husband then our relationship must have had holes. I or he must have left some area of our relationship untouched where the third party could make a better mark. And if my husband or any of my relatives for that matter are too fickle-minded to understand the worthiness of a relationship then I would rather not stay with them for long.

Hence jealousy has hardly ever made sense to me. I, on the contrary have enjoyed the attention my mate would garner at parties. I feel proud. I feel like holding his hand and teasing the on-looking females and telling them “See i got what you yearn for…ha ha ha”

But what I heard today shook my entire understanding of the concept of jealousy. And hence me is posting this at midnight. Hope by the morning I would have forgotten it or sorted it out.

Please do tell me what is your take on jealousy. Are me and my hubby the only ones living on this premise? Has enlightenment suddenly dawned on me today and hence I see it as a shock or was C’s behavior a sign of immature childish romance? (How I wish you would vote for latter reason)

Good night folks. Let me not dream of it tonight!

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